


on letting go

by BlueSkyNoise



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 10:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSkyNoise/pseuds/BlueSkyNoise
Summary: Everyone is counting on you.
Kudos: 8





	on letting go

3:02am.

Dull blue eyes stared without seeing at the faint glow of the clock’s display, the only light in the otherwise darkness of the room. Minutes had turned into hours and Angela had not been able to sleep, her anxiety only growing with every second that went by. In only a few hours she would have to be up for work, and these sleepless nights were starting to take their toll on her performance. Exhaustion-induced dissociation was hardly acceptable when one’s job involved saving the lives of others, and yet Angela didn’t know what else to do. She couldn’t sleep, could hardly keep her eyes shut for longer than five minutes at a time before they practically forced themselves open again, staring once more at that cruel display of numbers that continued to tick by relentlessly.

3:05am.

She sighed irritably and rolled over, as though adjusting her position wasn’t something she had already been trying all night. Tossing and turning into the early hours of the morning was becoming uncomfortably familiar, and it quite frankly pissed her off that there was nothing she could do about it.

Well. Except…

There was _one_ thing.

3:07am.

Angela sat up, blinking tiredly, looking down at the small bottle of pills that sat on her nightstand. She began to reach for it but hesitated, her hand trembling a little as it hovered uncertainly in the air.

3:08am.

There was a strange tightness forming in her chest as her mind battled back and forth with itself. She knew she shouldn’t. She knew what was happening to her. It would be impossible for her to claim denial about it, even if only with herself. The trouble sleeping, the aches and pains, the chills that would randomly overtake her if she went too long between dosing…

Angela knew what was happening to her, and she was scared.

3:10am.

Her hands sat in her lap, gripping her blanket so hard that she could see the white of her knuckles. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, her heart beating fast inside of her chest and a cold sweat creeping its way down the back of her neck. Stay calm, she told herself. Stay calm. You can’t fall apart.

_Everyone is counting on you._

The words crossed her mind and she tensed, holding her breath. The events of that day that she had tried so hard to push from her mind were suddenly crashing down on her full force, giving her no choice but to think about them. Try as she might to clear her head, she could still hear the words of her superior echoing between her ears…

_She had requested the meeting with great hesitance, having to take several deep breaths to steady herself before actually entering the room with her superior. When it came time to talk she did so with the slightest tremble in her voice, finding it harder and harder to maintain eye contact as she went on._

_But she had told him. Everything. She had been as honest as she could possibly be about the symptoms she had been having, the worries that were growing harder and harder to ignore by the day. Even as her hands quivered in her lap she had told him the truth about how dependent she had become on her painkillers; how it was keeping her up at night if she did not take them. She had told him, though it pained her to do so, that she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to continue working to her full potential unless something was done._

_He had been quiet for awhile. Long enough that Angela began to squirm a little in her seat under his scrutinizing gaze. When finally he did speak, his voice was cool and calm._

_“You know, Angela, a lot of people have come to depend upon you.”_

_She had blinked, taken aback, and then nodded._

_“You’ve become something of a hero to your comrades. Not just to them, but to everyone who looks up to Overwatch.”_

_Hero…the word circled in her head a few times, and her stomach knotted uncomfortably. She nodded again._

_“And it would be a shame if people couldn’t rely on their heroes to hold it together, wouldn’t it?”_

_“Yes, sir,” she had agreed._

_“So you’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, won’t you?”_

_“…yes, sir.”_

_What he had said after, Angela scarcely heard. She nodded along as though she did, but a strange numbness had overtaken her. Her eyes stung and her heart felt cold, but she blinked hard a few times to force the feelings away._

_When dismissed she stood, though she had not yet left the room before she heard him say from behind her, “Everyone is counting on you, Mercy. Don’t forget that.”_

3:16am.

She held the bottle in her hands, staring at it for what felt like an eternity before at last popping off the lid. Two of those familiar white tablets fell into her palm and she cradled them there, the pads of her fingers brushing lightly over their smooth surfaces.

“Everyone is counting on you,” Angela whispered to herself, and she swallowed the pills.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i havent posted fanfic in 7 years because im shy lol
> 
> uhhhhh let me know if you like this because i want to write a lot more with angela (and also angela/moira) but only if people dont ya know hate it. thanks!!!!!


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